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Buying a New Mind

Summary:
“Sign up now and get on the list for a new mind!” The technical description of the surgery is over your head, but the basics are thrilling. Two solid post-op improvements are speed and accuracy. You will think 20 times faster, and your rate of mistakes will drop to .01%. Your IQ will rise by a minimum of 50 points. There is also an automatic signal when a problem you’re working on won’t resolve. Your left ear lobe burns. This informs you that, no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to come to a useful conclusion. You’ll save a great deal of time. The new mind you’re getting contains several basic elements: 157,893 subconscious generalizations (or premises) deemed to be truthful; a subconscious deductive logic program; an instantly accessible

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“Sign up now and get on the list for a new mind!”

The technical description of the surgery is over your head, but the basics are thrilling.

Two solid post-op improvements are speed and accuracy. You will think 20 times faster, and your rate of mistakes will drop to .01%. Your IQ will rise by a minimum of 50 points.

There is also an automatic signal when a problem you’re working on won’t resolve. Your left ear lobe burns. This informs you that, no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to come to a useful conclusion.

You’ll save a great deal of time.

The new mind you’re getting contains several basic elements:

157,893 subconscious generalizations (or premises) deemed to be truthful;

a subconscious deductive logic program;

an instantly accessible technical library adjusted to your job.

The library automatically generates, collates, and summarizes the best available information re the problem you’re working on, in line with the previously installed generalizations (premises) and the logic program.

It produces an answer, a solution. Your solution.

For an additional fee, you can opt for a social program that will enable you to shift out of work-mode and communicate effectively with colleagues, friends, and family.

The left-ear-lobe burn signal will go live whenever social conversations touch on controversial issues. This is your cue to back away and seek other company.

Your new mind will be monitored 24/7 from a combined NSA-DHS node that ensures proper functioning. If repairs are needed, a partial shutdown will deploy. Corrections will normally take less than three hours.

There is also a bullpen function. Persistent questions for which there is no available answer; personal reflections and contemplations; and any instance of social, political, financial, or existential claustrophobia will all be funneled to a dead space where they will linger and progressively fade.

A tiny but important Grand Slam Package will translate any thoughts once deemed to be creative into a sludge-mesh, where the velocity of transmission will slow to one synaptic flash per hour. In other words, you’ll achieve close to a zero rate on imagination.

At the perimeter of your new mind is the Cattle Farm. Slow moving, meaningless, and random tautologies circulate there, efficiently blocking exit from the overall programmed space of consciousness.

You’re centered where you’re most needed, where you can perform usefully and swiftly.

Throughout the day, you’ll think thoughts that trigger a carefully groomed and modulated pleasure-quotient. The overall effect will stimulate you to conclude you are satisfied.

Thought-forms called Border Collies will continuously roam the space of your mind and organize stray electrical effects, bringing them into symmetrical, simplistic, geometric wholes. These wholes will automatically constitute your “aesthetic sense.”

At night, while you sleep, regions of mind unreachable by the surgery will naturally expend extraordinary energies of outrage, resentment, resistance, and pure hatred. This is quite normal.

Scooper Drones will siphon off those energies and their attendant emotional wildfires, and beam them directly into the minds of our soldiers on the battlefield, to help them wreak destruction on the enemy.

It’s estimated that, with your new mind in tow, you’ll require full overhauls every three years. During these periods, you’ll experience total shutdown.

Your families, friends, and co-workers will be notified in advance.

As an historical note of interest, you recall, I’m sure, the so-called spying, the so-called Surveillance State, back in the old days. Yes?

Most people didn’t realize the program was the first attempt to create a single Universal Mind.

The Surveillance State was really the first crude new-mind surgery.

But now we can guarantee the result. The science has advanced majestically. The surgery is extremely specific and comprehensive.

Central Planning for Planet Earth must restructure brains so they perform, in various ways, to produce what we call The Whole X.

What is The Whole X? It’s the meshing of all human thought and function that will indeed produce the greatest good for the greatest number.

Whole X is the plan from above.

It calculates every move and every thought-pattern the billions of Earth inhabitants undertake, during every hour of every day.

Whole X dispenses justice and goods and services and sustainability and shared thoughts from Nome to Tierra Del Fuego.

How can these elements be parceled out unless, at the level of mind, the rational processes of every human are coordinated?

Yes, we’ve come a long way from Spy Headquarters. That was then; this is now.

We’ve walked the path from the Bill of Rights to the Bill of the Mind.

Use your gifts wisely.

To those who lament the loss of freedom, privacy, and imagination, consider that those qualities led us to the brink of extinction. We turned the corner and found enduring peace in our time.

For more information, log on to The Church of Absolute Inescapable Unity.

Reprinted with permission from Jon Rappoport’s blog.

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